It was the year 2021 and it was almost 8 in the evening, I was doing my usual thing— cleaning and preparing the bed. And knowing how lazy I was, I rested as if I worked all day after doing that. I sit like a frog on my bed then lie down and repeat, and then wide-eyed staring at my phone because it was all that I spent my time on.
I was scrolling on social media, when a chat head of a friend of mine, Erika, appeared on screen that made my gaze shift on it. I opened it and read the message “Brethney, ana si Miss Dakay nga pahimoun daw ta ug tula about Drug Awareness for competition daw, kita tulo ni Johannes. Screening pa daw ugma, pilian ta”. I answered her, “Huh? Ugma dayon?” She said yes and that they were actually informed days ago but Ms. Dakay forgot to tell me. Plus, she said that we need to memorize the piece or if not, at least familiarize it.
I only had a few hours left to do the task so to be sure that I am going to focus on doing it, I informed my mother that I was going to do something and it was urgent and I asked them to not call me and disturb me for a moment. I explained to her why and knowing my mother’s loving support of me making this like I was already chosen to present it, she did what I said. She even scolded my sister for laughing so loudly.
My heart was pumping so hard because I don’t like presenting in front of people, I don’t like it when everyone’s eyes are on me plus the fact that it was my first time going to present a piece of mine for a competition, even though it was just only for screening that time. Because of the undying pressure I was having, I prayed before I started writing. I prayed to God to guide me on writing a good one because despite the limited time, of being afraid and of everything that was making me doubt myself, there was a part of me that wanted it. There was a part of me that wanted me to own it—the stage, the people and the award. A big part of me wanted it. I prayed so deeply that I could say that it was one of the deepest prayers I had done.
In the middle of the silence that my mother was providing me, I started writing. Gathering all the ideas that came into my mind, connecting them as if they were like water and humans to each other. A very nice piece was starting to be a whole. And when it did become a whole, I read it. I was crying river while delivering it alone inside my room. I originally wrote the piece untitled, it seemed like incomplete without it but… “It was the best piece that I wrote,” I told myself. I was that satisfied. It was as perfect as a full moon. It was as flawfully beautiful as the crescent moon. And I thanked God for that.
My mother was the first one I read it to and asked what she thought about it. Her reaction was the same as mine, “It was great.” She said.
In the morning I went to school prepared. My heart was pumping again, wanting to get out of my chest this time. Good thing that only one teacher listened to us at first but that did not stop the nervousness that I was feeling as I presented my piece. My hands were shaking but I was able to deliver it better than I thought. I got more satisfied when Ms. Pacaña, the teacher who was listening and the one who was assigned to coach the chosen one, was happy with what I’ve prepared. After her, she brought us to the office and let us present in front of her colleagues, one of them was Ms. Dakay, the one who forgot to inform me. I could not recall how I made it because all I could think of were the pressure and the unpayable joy I felt when they chose me. Yes, I made it to the real competition.
I was walking on clouds as I traced my way back home, and could not hide what I was feeling. I told my mother the great news as I arrived and she was beyond happy about that. As I reached my room that was the time that I showed how happy I really was. I could not stop jumping and thanking God for the opportunity.
As I made it to another level, of course, I brought it to another level of pressure too. But what boosted my confidence was the message I received from Ms. Pacaña. It said “I really like spoken poetry and I have never met someone that met my expectations but you. You made me satisfied.”
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